The Tomb Robber Gets a Job
by Arwyn Atreides
Summary: “Don’t even THINK of stepping foot in this house again until you get a job!” those were the last words Ryou yelled at Bakura as he kicked him out, now Bakura has to get a job if he wants to go back home. But what kind of job can you get when your la
1. Hit the Road Jack erm Bakura

Bakura walked into the kitchen yawning and scratching his chest. Ryou looked up from the bills as Bakura came in. Bakura walked over to Ryou and kissed him on the cheek and asked "What are you looking at, hun?" as he made himself a bowl of Corn Pops.  
  
"The bills, ya know we need more income." Ryou hinted, he thought Bakura should get a job. That and Ryou was a little sick of being the only one in the house with a job, Bakura was a freeloader.  
  
"Okay." Bakura shrugged, and then he saw the worried/annoyed look on his lover's face. "What?"  
  
"You need to get a job."  
  
Bakura nearly choked on his cereal, "What!?! Why!?!"  
  
"We need more money than my paycheck can offer!"  
  
"Then why don't you just get another job?!!"  
  
Ryou stood up quickly, "Damnit I'm sick of being the only responsible one in this house!!"  
  
Bakura put down his bowl of cereal, walked over to his love and put his hand on Ryou's cheek, "Calm down, love, you know I'm not fit to have a job."  
  
Outside the sun was bright, birds sang a beautiful tune, butterflies fluttered about, and children played their springtime games. Peace and calm drifted through the air and was felt by all on the block.  
  
Bakura stumbled/fell out of the house and landed on his ass.  
  
"AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF STEPPING FOOT IN THIS HOUSE UNTIL YOU GET A JOB!!!" Ryou yelled from the doorway before slamming the door closed.  
  
"RYOU!!! Be reasonable!!" Bakura yelled at the house, a minute later a second floor window opened. "See all we need to do is talk-"  
  
A wad of clothes came flying out of the window. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!?" Bakura yelled up.  
  
"I'm kicking you out, freaking FREELOADER!!!"  
  
"ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS!?!?!?!" Bakura yelled as a pair of sneakers, one after the other, narrowly missed his head.  
  
"JUST GET OUT OF HERE!!! You come back with a paycheck or you don't come back at all!"  
  
[][][][]  
  
Yugi and Yami were lying in bed when the doorbell rang.  
  
'Who could that be?' Yugi thought as he rolled over to see Yami acting as if he was asleep. "I know you're awake."  
  
"Damn. I figured you'd stay in bed if you thought I was asleep. C'mon leave the door and just stay here with me." He slipped his arms around Yugi's waist and started kissing his neck.  
  
Yugi hesitated; he didn't want to leave this. "No, we better get that." Yugi said as the ringing got more persistent.  
  
Yami fidgeted, wanting whoever this was to make it quick so he could get back to bed. He watched as Yugi opened the door. They looked and saw a harassed annoyed extra evil looking Bakura on their doorstep. He had a wad of clothes under his right arm, he was still in his pajamas and Yugi and Yami could tell he had shoved his sneakers on hastily and without socks.  
  
Yami couldn't help himself and he burst into gales of laughter, tears formed in his eyes he was laughing so hard.  
  
"Shut it Pharaoh." Bakura responded menacingly.  
  
"What happened?!" Yugi asked concerned as he let Bakura in.  
  
"Ryou kicked me out; he said he wouldn't let me back until I had a paycheck." Bakura muttered.  
  
Yami had to lean up against a wall to keep from falling over. He tried to compose himself, he gasped for air, and then he looked at Bakura and started laughing again. He ended up sliding down the wall and falling on his ass.  
  
"Ignore him." Yugi said as he gestured for Bakura to go into the living room.  
  
"I'm sorry! I can't hahahahaha" Yami was actually in pain he was laughing so hard and in between his fits of laughter he said 'ouch'.  
  
Bakura gave him a death stare, "I'm glad I amuse you, Pharaoh." There was venom dripping from his words, but it just made Yami laugh harder.  
  
"Yami, dear, can you do me a favor?" Yugi asked sweetly as he started ushering Bakura into the living room.  
  
Yami gasped and coughed a few times before he regained his composure. "Yes?" he still couldn't look at Bakura; he knew he'd start laughing again if he did.  
  
"Shut up and make up the guest room."  
  
Both Yami and Bakura were surprised by Yugi's sternness. Bakura sneered at Yami as Yami, still shocked, obey his orders.  
  
"I see he has you by the balls, Pharaoh." Bakura hissed as Yami walked out.  
  
"And I can see Ryou has busted YOURS." Yami shot back grinning as Bakura's mouth snapped shut and he meekly followed Yugi into the living room. 


	2. Golden Opportunity

Bakura talked with Yugi or a long time, he couldn't understand why he had to get a job. "You'd think Ryou would just be happy that I live with him! Now he wants me to go to work that's not my place! If it's anyone's place it's-"  
  
"Yours," Yugi interrupted and Bakura looked at him shocked. "do you pay any of the bills?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Buy groceries?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Ok, how about this: do you even clean up?" Yugi hadn't realized just how lazy Bakura was till now.  
  
"No, Ryou takes care of all that stuff. See!? Why should I have to take care of all of that if Ryou does it?" Bakura looked at Yugi and saw that one of his eyebrows was twitching and so was a corner of his mouth. "Yugi, you ok?"  
  
Yugi took a deep breath and calmed himself down. "Go out and look for a job tomorrow. Do it or else Ryou is not going to let you go home." Yugi got up and started to walk out of the living room. "You are sleeping in the guest room, you know where everything is."  
  
"Sure, and besides if worse comes to worse I can just stay with you and Pharaoh until Ryou gets lonely." Bakura said as he picked up his bundle of clothes again and stood up from the couch and started toward the stairs. He noticed that Yugi had stopped, mid walk, "Yugi, did something happen?"  
  
"Just...go...to.....your...room..." Yugi spoke slowly and clearly in a way that gave Bakura the willys. Bakura double timed it up the stairs. Much to his annoyance, though, he found Yami posted up by the guest room.  
  
"What do you want, Pharaoh? Came to laugh some more?" Bakura sneered, walking up to Yami.  
  
"You can't stay here forever, Ryou may have let you get away with being a freeloader for as long as he did but I won't, and neither will Yugi." Yami stood up from his leaning position and started to walk past Bakura. "Besides, if you stay here forever just think of all the nookie you'll miss out on. I mean, I like you but I don't know if Yugi would want to share me." Yami flicked his tongue out, suggestively at Bakura.  
  
Bakura screwed up his face in disgust. "In your dreams."  
  
"Yeah the ones that make those nightmares about being ripped to shreds by rabid lions sound like fun." Yami retorted as he walked back to the main bedroom. Bakura rolled his eyes and went to the room he was going to be staying in.  
  
'How do I look for a job? Do I just look around for places that have a sign up? Or should I look through the newspaper?' Bakura debated as he unfolded the wad of clothes. 'Damnit why couldn't someone have gone over this, I have no idea what to do!!'  
  
Yugi gave Bakura a newspaper and a highlighter and told him to look for a job he thought he could do. Yugi warned that he should start small because he was new to the whole job thing.  
  
Bakura looked at the paper and started going through the 'Help Wanted' section carefully. He got to the third page, circling a few things here and there and then he saw something about being a waiter at a bar he went to every so often and happened to like, the listing said that they needed someone by Saturday. He sighed, he needed a job ASAP. Then he happened to look at a calendar that was on the wall and saw that it was Saturday!  
  
Bakura jumped up and quickly ran to get Yugi, who was in the kitchen heating something up in the microwave. "I FOUND SOMETHING AND IT STARTS TONIGHT!!!"  
  
Yugi stood shocked for a minute. "That's great, where is it?"  
  
"Friends Bar, I love that place!! It's perfect!!" Bakura was completely overjoyed; this job would be perfect for him.  
  
"Ok, that's good. Are there any requirements?" Yugi took his food from the microwave.  
  
"Probably proper clothes." Yami said as he walked up from the basement.  
  
Bakura was going to shoot something back at Yami but then he looked down at himself and realized that Yami was right.  
  
"Oh you're right, Yami." Yugi said, and Yami smirked. "That's why you're going to let Bakura borrow some of your clothes."  
  
The smirk fell from Yami's lips, both he and Bakura looked horrified, well that was until Bakura realized just how much that irked Yami. "Yeah, thanks Yami! Such a pal!" he sneered.  
  
Yami grumbled, "C'mon."  
  
Bakura happily followed, seeing Yami looking so annoyed put him in an even better mood.  
  
Yami went into his chest of drawers and pulled out a decent tee shirt and sensible jeans and handed them, with a pair of sock to Bakura. "I hate to say this but I need to also borrow a pair of boxers." Bakura asked uncomfortably.  
  
Yami made a face and took out a pair of plain dark blue boxers from a drawer. "Take a shower also, you smell just the way you look, bad." Bakura would've retorted but again he knew that Yami wasn't lying, at least about the not smelling so fresh part.  
  
[][]  
  
Bakura took a quick shower and got dressed and then called the bar, got directions, and left the house, after getting some bus fare from Yugi. "Good luck!" Yugi said as Bakura left.  
  
Yami said nothing as he closed the door behind Bakura. "He's gonna need all the luck he can get." He said as he followed Yugi back to the bedroom.  
  
"Yeah well it's not like you were an ace when you first started working." Yugi opened the door and crawled back into bed and turned the TV back on.  
  
"Well.yeah.I remember." Yami blushed remembering what it was like when he got his first job.  
  
"So then be nice to Bakura, he's just like you, except that he doesn't have Ryou to lean on and to teach him the way you had me." Yugi flipped through a few channels, looking for a new show he had heard a lot of good things about. Yami frowned as he thought about what Yugi had just said, he hadn't thought of it that way.  
  
[][][][]  
  
Bakura got to the place pretty quickly and without much trouble, he didn't have a job but he knew how to get around on the train and the bus. He looked at the place and smiled, 'This is where I'm going to be working.'  
  
He went inside, and saw that the place was relatively empty because it was still only four o'clock in the afternoon. "Hi, I'm applying for the waiter job." He said to the bartender.  
  
"Alright," he took an application from a stack behind him and handed it to Bakura with a pen. "Just fill that out and the boss will take a look at it." He smiled and went back to setting up for later that night.  
  
Bakura looked at the application for a second, he had forgotten about these things. 'Ryou told me these thing were a pain in the butt, doesn't look all that hard though.' He sat down at the bar and started filling the thing out. He had watched Ryou fill an application out before so he had some sort of idea of what to do.  
  
He filled the application out and then went over to the bartender. "I'm finished, where's the owner?"  
  
The bartender smiled, "That'd be me. Lemme take a look at that." Bakura handed the man the application. The owner/bartender looked over the application. He looked at Bakura, "This is your first job?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Um, I hate to do this but I don't think this is a good job for you then. I'm sorry I should have specified that I needed someone with experience." The man really did seem to be sincere. Bakura just stared at the man. "But good luck on your job search." The bartender smiled again and went back to cleanin up.  
  
Bakura walked down the block, 'Where else can I get a job?' Bakura was thoroughly bummed that his first attempt hadn't worked. He had to find a job and fast, 'But what place is gonna hire me?'  
  
He walked and walked, looking in windows for 'Help Wanted' signs, finally he saw one. He looked at the sign and was hopeful. He looked up at to see what store it was and saw that it was.McDonald's.  
  
[~][~]  
  
Next chapter: Want My FIST With That?!  
  
~@~@~ A/N: I just wanted to pop in and say hello to those of you who are so nice that you read my lil story!  
  
Also I wanted to let you that as absurd as it sounds there IS an actual bar called Friends Bar, it's in New York, Brooklyn to be exact. It's a small place that I've only been able to see the outside of, I used to pass by it on my way to my mother's job, as a nurse. So yea, watch out for some reason I like to take some of the weird stuff from my own life and shove them into stories.  
  
I would like to also take this space to let you know that I in no way shape or form own Friends Bar, though just the fact that I have only seen the outside of it should have tipped you off. 


	3. Would You Like My FIST With That?

Bakura went to Yugi and Yami's house with a plastic bag neatly folded and tucked under his arm; he knocked and prayed that no one would ask him about what was in the bag. Yami was the one who answered the door, much to Bakura's dismay. "Thank you." He grumbled as he started in.  
  
"What is that?" Yami asked, blocking the doorway.  
  
Bakura looked at Yami, "It's nothing."  
  
"I'm sorry but I can't let you in with a mystery package." Yami said looking stern, though Bakura could tell that he was just doing this to piss him off.  
  
"It's something from work." Bakura wasn't lying but he knew he wasn't telling the whole truth either. "And since when did you become so interested in my stuff?"  
  
"Since you started living under my roof." Yami still looked at Bakura skeptically.  
  
"Yami let him and stop being an asshole." Yugi said as he came down the stairs.  
  
Yami huffed and moved out of the way so Bakura could go inside. Bakura raced by Yugi, mumbling his thanks, he ran into his room and closed the door.  
  
'Damnit, Pharaoh!' he thought as he stuffed the bag under his bed, if anyone tried to get it he would know and he'd kick their ass.  
  
The next morning he was awakened by Yugi, or at least Yugi tired to wake him, "Bakura get up of else you're going to be late!" he yelled as he tried to shake Bakura awake.  
  
"Huh? Ryou it's too early." Bakura mumbled in his sleep before he dozed off again.  
  
"NO!! Bakura wake up!!!" Yugi's yelling and commotion brought Yami, who was getting ready for work himself.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" Yami said, poking his head into the room, his shirt and pants on and his untied tie around his neck.  
  
"I'm trying to get Bakura up, he's gonna miss his first day of work if he stays sleeping!" Yugi was trying his best to get the almost unconscious sleeper awake.  
  
Yami sighed, "Hold on, lemme give it a try." He walked into the room and over to Bakura he closed Bakura's mouth and then pinched his nose closed. Yugi watched in horror.  
  
"Yami!! I said I wanted him awake NOT dead!!" Yugi tried to pry Yami's arms off Bakura, but then Bakura jolted awake.  
  
He gasped and wheezed when he could finally breath then he stared daggers into Yami who was just smiling. "You're a bastard." He said it menacingly.  
  
"Yeah well you're going to be late if you don't get your ass up and into the shower and dressed." Yugi said as Yami walked back out of the room looking rather indignant.  
  
"Huh? What time is it?" Bakura rubbed his eyes and started to feel sleepy again.  
  
Yugi shoved the clock in Bakura's face and instantly Bakura was wide awake and racing towards the bathroom. "WAIT!!" Yugi ran after Bakura with a stack of clothes. He shoved the clothes into Bakura's arms. "Ok, go."  
  
Bakura ran into the bathroom and got ready for work at record speed, taking a super fast shower (nearly burning himself and then nearly freezing himself) then he jumped into his clothes. He grabbed the package from under his bed and ran downstairs, where Yami and Yugi were. Both were eating a small breakfast.  
  
"Bakura, Yami can probably drop you off at work." Yugi offered, and Bakura could tell from the look on Yami's face that Yami hadn't been asked.  
  
Bakura would have loved to have kicked dirt in Yami's eyes by accepting but he didn't want Yami to know where he worked or else Yami would have too much fun harassing him. "No, I think I need to learn how to get there on my own." He grabbed a quick breakfast before he ran out the door, getting some more bus and train fare from Yugi.  
  
"Remember to serve with a smile!" the overly chipper little manager instructed the new workers that were lined up in front of her. "Does everyone know where they will be today?"  
  
Everyone nodded, and Bakura knew that for some unholy reason he had been selected to be a cashier that day. The manager told everyone that that was the end; everyone went off to their posts.  
  
Bakura walked to the front and took over the register, he was thankful that someone to help him. And he was surprised at how easy it was to learn all the things for the register. He did great on that part.  
  
Unfortunately, that wasn't the only part of the job. Bakura developed a twitch in his right eyebrow by the end of his first day, but he had managed to keep a smile on his face the whole day.  
  
He survived his first day. First thing he did after his manager told him it was quitting time was he ran into the bathroom and changed into his normal clothes then he ran out the door and hoped on the bus. He got back to Yugi and Yami's place and this time Yugi opened the door for him so he didn't have to be interrogated.  
  
Bakura was very thankful for that as he ran up to the bathroom to try his best to scrub off the first three layers of his skin and if he was lucky he could rid himself of that sickening stench that clung to him. He took a shower then wrapped a towel around his waist and went to the guest room where he found a surprise. There was a bag of his clothes sitting next to his bed, he opened it and found some of his clean clothes in it. He was so overjoyed that he wouldn't have to borrow more clothes from Yami.  
  
He started ripping through the bag and grabbed a pair of boxers, a tee shirt and a pair of his board shorts. He hopped into his clothes then ran downstairs, but he made a stop in the bathroom after he remembered he had left his things in there, he took those things to his room. He ran to Yugi and thanked him.  
  
"I don't know how you did it but thank you so much for getting me some of my clothes from Ryou!!" Bakura was actually so happy he almost hugged Yugi, but then he remembered himself and didn't.  
  
"I didn't do anything, Ryou brought them over." Yugi said as he looked at Bakura who just stood shocked for a minute. "I'd suggest you call him and give him a 'thank you' that had as much gusto as the one just gave me." Bakura ran out of the room and into the living room he quickly dialed Ryou's number.  
  
He waited on pins and needles for Ryou to pick up the phone. Finally he did, "Hello?"  
  
"Hi, Ryou-"  
  
"Bakura?" Ryou sounded pleasantly for a second. "What are you calling for?" but that pleasant part didn't last past 'Bakura?'  
  
"I wanted to say thank-"  
  
"Do you have a job yet?" Ryou asked sternly.  
  
"Yes-"  
  
"Good, do you have a paycheck?"  
  
"No but- hello? Hello?!" Bakura heard nothing on the other end. Ryou had hung up. He sighed, feeling like crap, and then just to make his day even cheerier, he realized that Yami had been sitting on the couch the whole time. "Spare me your asshole charm, Pharaoh." He dragged himself out of the room, Yami said nothing.  
  
The next day he did the same thing he had done the day before, except he was miraculously able to get up on time, and when he came home from work he didn't call Ryou. 'I can't talk to him until I get a paycheck! I have to get a paycheck!'  
  
"Hello, welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order?" he said the words with a smile on his face and filled the orders with speed and efficiency. In the manager took a special shine to him because of his superb work. His cheery, chipper, manager was glad to see that he was still in such a good mood, but then she told him something that wiped the smile clean off his face.  
  
It was Thursday and Bakura was happily awaiting his paycheck the next day. He didn't know how long he could keep that smile plastered on his face but he knew if he could only get a paycheck and get back home he'd be able to walk around with a real smile on.  
  
"I'm so glad to see how well you're doing and it's only your first week here, and how fortuitous that you should happen to join our staff the week we have a birthday party scheduled!" this was it now Bakura was sure the woman was either on some seriously strong drugs or someone had stapled that smile on her face, because she still had the same chipper smile on her face as she told him the awful news. That night Bakura went to Yugi and Yami's and he took a shower and then was on his way to his room when Yami got to him.  
  
"SO what place decided to hire you?" he asked, posted up by Bakura' door, the same way he had been on the first night Bakura had stayed there.  
  
"None of your business." Bakura kept going to his room but Yami blocked his path.  
  
"Nuh huh, tell me where you're working that's so secretive." Yami was really getting on Bakura's last nerve, but Bakura smiled.  
  
"Yami I need to get some rest because I have a very big day tomorrow. Now if you would be so kind, please, if it isn't too much trouble, let me go to the room I am currently staying in?" Bakura's polite and proper response scared Yami a bit and he just let Bakura through, not wanting to hang around much longer to see if Bakura would get any weirder.  
  
The next morning Bakura got up early, took a quick shower, grabbed a quick breakfast and then he left. He concentrated on making sure that he didn't snap at anyone today, he needed that paycheck. It was his ticket home and without he was stuck at Yugi and Yami's and he was sure that they wouldn't let him stay there very long.  
  
He went to work, changed in the bathroom, and then waited for his shift to start. Unfortunately the person he would be taking over for fell ill and Bakura started work early. It was NOT a good day from the get go.  
  
First there was an idiot who stood in front of Bakura for a full half hour trying to decide what it was that he wanted. Then there was a woman who wanted Bakura to tell her what was in everything, and in the end she decided she wasn't hungry. There was a teenage girl who made him run back and forth from the refrigerator, which for his convenience was all the way on the other end of the long counter, to get the right salad dressing and then she remembered that she really didn't want a salad. After that was a man who stared at Bakura and asked him about his hair and his eyes and hit on him but didn't order a single thing and made the other people on line behind him very disgruntle. There were a whole bunch of other pains in the asses.  
  
But then the party came.  
  
Bakura swore to himself if Ryou ever asked to adopt he'd kill himself before agreeing.  
  
[~][~] Stay tuned for the Next Chapter: Twitch Twitch  
  
[^][^]  
  
Ryou: -watching television- Bakura I want a kid!! -his voice is little whinny-  
  
Bakura: -eating beef ramen, chokes- -hack wheeze cough- WHAT!?!?!  
  
Ryou: -walks over and drapes his arms around Bakura's neck- I want a lil kid, one that's really cute and adorable and I'll be able to teach 'em to cook and whole bunch of other things and you'll be able to-  
  
Bakura: nuh huh, we are NOT having kids. Where'd you even get such a crazy idea?!  
  
Ryou: Well Phoenix told me that she thinks I'd make a great dad.  
  
Bakura: -shoots an evil look at Phoenix whose lounging on the couch- grr  
  
Phoenix: -grins- Yea I think Ryou would make an EXCELLENT father!  
  
Ryou: -beams and blushes-  
  
Bakura: -scowls at Phoenix-  
  
Phoenix: Look how well he raised YOU Bakura! -smiles wide-  
  
Ryou: -laugh softly-  
  
Bakura: -.-* 


	4. Twitch Twitch

Twitch. Twitch.  
  
Bakura spent a lot of the afternoon preparing for the arrival of the birthday party, he had to blow up balloons, he was very thankful that he didn't have to do that manually, he had to hang the crepe paper and close off the section from the other customers. It doesn't sound like much but for a guy who was used to either stand behind a counter or sit on his ass all day it was a lot.  
  
He had to muster up his patience, if he got fired before he got his paycheck he'd have a huge problem, he had to keep his job. 'No paycheck, no home. No paycheck, no home.' Bakura made that his mantra for the day. He took a deep breath and plastered a huge smile on his face and turned around, "WELCOME BOYS AND GIRLS!!"  
  
The kids all smiled and laughed, they seemed pretty happy, which put Bakura at ease a bit. "So what would each of you like?" he was all smiles and joy. Taking their orders wasn't too bad, there was only one kid who went through the whole menu until he found what he wanted, the other who just stared at Bakura blankly, there was another who jumped up and down and yelled out her order almost too fast for Bakura, then there was a kid who wanted everything on the menu.  
  
Bakura took all twenty of the orders; there were more strange things that the kids did during that process besides the ones mentioned. He had to relay the message to the 'cooks' in the back, unfortunately all of them came down with a bad case of PMS including the guys. They all snapped at him, but he kept a happy face on 'No paycheck, no home. No paycheck, no home.' Was all he thought as he slowly somehow got the vicious psychos that flipped burgers to fill the orders. He slowly made his way to the tables, he was all alone because the other employees were busy or at least that was their alibi.  
  
He had to keep that plaster smile from cracking when, many times during his trips from the tables to the kitchen, the kids tried to trip him. He was surprised that the parents didn't say anything at all. After he had brought out the food he had a few minutes to chill for a bit and to catch his breath. He leaned against a wall for a bit.  
  
Something whizzed past his head. His eyes perked, "What the.?" he turned around just in time to see a red ball hit him. "Ow!" he heard giggling and looked and saw a group of children laughing in the doorway to the play area, where the ball pit was located. He stared at them for a minute.  
  
A green ball went flying straight for his head but this time he deflected it with his hand. the kids watched in awe then one said, "Phfft! That was just lucky, it was only one ball after all!" the boy who had said that grinned.  
  
There was something that felt weird as the boy said it, then Bakura figured out what it was. He hadn't noticed that every kid in the doorway had at least two balls with them. Suddenly, just as he became aware, a shower of plastic balls came flying at him. He was hit quite a few times before he yelled that he had to go get the cake. The kids instantly stopped. He looked at them astounded.  
  
'They can be trained with the help of food.' He smiled. He went to go get the cake. He had to go through the land of disgruntled short order cooks to get to it, though. 'In and out, remember they know no difference between friend and food, they may try to inflict bodily harm. This is for home!' he thought as he started in. 'I have to try my best not to draw attention to myself.' He walked into the kitchen nonchalantly.  
  
The cake was almost all the way in the back he carefully made his way back. He took the cake. He looked at the path he had taken and was about to retake. Suddenly it seemed that the counter was a lot farther than it had seemed before. He quickly and carefully made his way back to the counter.  
  
But alas one of the creatures must have caught his scent for he was discovers and he paid dearly for not saying hello on his way in. For five minutes straight three women yelled at him, all talked as one. Bakura felt like his head was going to explode. Then they all, again in unison, realized the cake in his hands. They all pushed him out of the kitchen.  
  
Ok we all have heard the phrase "Into the lion's den." Now I'm very sure that you all understand the severity of this situation, I mean a lion's den isn't exactly a box full of kittens those are ferocious animals we're talking about. But I'm pretty sure Simba, all grown up and defending his woman and land, would've cowered if he had been thrown in front of a pack of ferocious children the way Bakura was.  
  
"This.is.not.good." he mumbled as he saw a pack of children crowding around the counter, then they saw him. He could've sworn he saw the evil flash within their eyes as they looked at the cake in his hand and then at him. 'They're gonna rip me alive for this cake!!' Bakura started, as calmly as possible, towards the children. Their eyes followed the cake.  
  
A little while later he succeeded in completing his mission. He put the cake on the table, he took a lighter from his pocket, lit the candles, and then stepped back as the birthday kid blew the candles out. He was lucky, he made it to the table, he had had to stepped around/ over the balls that still littered the floor, his eyebrow dancing all the while and a huge smile on his face. He cut the cake, as he was about to serve it though, a fellow employee came over and decided to help, she handed out the cake pieces for Bakura.  
  
He was very grateful, up until he realized why she had been so helpful. Someone had to clean up the balls that were still on the floor. The manager, small perky little woman, came over and told him to get the balls picked up. He smiled, he eyebrow, which had calmed down a bit started back up again.  
  
He picked up the balls, cursing children with every ball he touched. he had to catch the balls then go into the play area and stick half of himself into the ball pit to put the balls back. 'These kids should be taken out back and beaten with a stick within an inch of their lil evil lives. NO BETTER!! They should have an exorcism performed on the lil bastards. I'd love to watch them squirm near the holy water.  
  
He was on his last trip when it happened. He hadn't been paying attention. His eyebrow had calmed and he had been deep in thought, thinking of ways to torture the lil daemon spawn. He hadn't heard the creature creep up behind him as he bent into the ball pit. The daemonic piece of crap, along with quite a few of its kind with it, shoved him into the pit.  
  
Bakura flew head first into the pit. He was shocked for a moment and then he sprang up, yelling obscenities. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU DAEMONIC BASTARD!?!?!? DID YOU FUCKERS THINK THAT WAS FUNNY!?!!?! I'LL SHOW YOU FUNNY C'MON IN HERE AND I'LL DISEMBOWEL YOU!!!!" he continued to yell as he got out the pit and then went after the kids.  
  
All the customers watched in shock and horror. He slipped on a piece of cake some little kid decided to use as ammo, it hadn't even come near Bakura, it had only fallen in front of him. As he fell his hands wildly flailed to find something to grab hold of. He found a table. He and the table, along with all of the drinks and food that was on it went crashing down, some of the lighter things had a bit of a flight up though.  
  
He got back up, covered in soda, pieces of cake, fries, ketchup, and anything else that was on the table. He stood up and looked in the direction of the hell spawn but found their angry parent's eyes staring back at him.  
  
Bakura took a deep breath and then turned and went to get his things, he walked through the kitchen. The PMSers all clapped as he walked past, the guys even saluted him. He took his things and went to his still stunned boss. "May I have my check?"  
  
The woman who had seemed as if her smile was carved into her face just looked at him. "What?"  
  
"I want my paycheck. It's Friday." He sounded like he was a zombie. He could hear that the entire store was silent. The woman walked away, got his check and gave it to him. "Thank you." He smiled one last time, his eyebrow twitched, and he walked out of the completely silent McDonald's.  
  
End- First place of employment  
  
[~][~]  
  
Next Chapter: Rinse DON'T Repeat  
  
[^][^]  
  
Ryou: Why CAN'T we adopt a child!?  
  
Bakura: because they are pains in the ass!  
  
Phoenix: -mumbles "like you're not!"-  
  
Bakura: Shut it Phoe!  
  
Ryou: Be nice Bakura!  
  
Bakura: -starts to open his mouth but the doorbell rings- -he looks at Ryou, who doesn't look like he's gonna go get the door and then at Phoenix-  
  
Phoenix: Hey man I dun live here!  
  
Bakura: -grumble- -goes to the door, opens it and sees Yugi and Yami-  
  
Yugi: Hi guys! Oh Ryou I HAVE to show you Matthew's pictures!!  
  
Yami: -carrying a baby in a car seat/carrier thing-  
  
Bakura: -groans as Yugi runs past and he and Ryou run into the kitchen to "ooo" and "aww!"-  
  
Yami: -looks in and sees Phoenix who waves and then he walks past-  
  
Bakura: -sees some of Yami's shirt- -he curiously reaches to open Yami's jacket to see it clearer-  
  
Yami: Back off, I don't want my son to learn how to kill a man yet. -walks over to Phoenix who eagerly steals the baby to play with him-  
  
Phoenix: Aww!! Matthew is just the cutest!!!  
  
Yami: -smiles proudly-  
  
Yugi: -comes back out, sprints out- Look at this!! -he rips open Yami's jacket exposing a "#1 Dad' tee shirt-  
  
Ryou: AWWW!!! OHMYGOD!! That is the cutest!!!  
  
Phoenix: -snickering-  
  
Yami: -groaning in horror-  
  
Bakura: -having stomach cramps from laughing so hard- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Ryou: OH BAKI, LOVE!!! WE HAVE TO GET A CHILD!!!  
  
All laughing stops.  
  
Yami: -turns and looks at Bakura- HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA BAKI!!!!! JUST LIKE POKKI!!! 


	5. Rinse Don't Repeat

Bakura took the long way back to Yami and Yugi's house, he had messed up. Right? He had lost his first job. But he had gotten the paycheck, which counted for something! He planned to go to see Ryou, but first he had to clean and he was torn between calling Ryou first or just showing up.  
  
He showed up, still dirty and in his uniform, on Ryou's doorstep. This had been his home, 'And it was going to be just that again!' he reassured himself.  
  
'Ryou must be missing me, he'll probably be so worried since I haven't called and I'm sure that he'll be so happy that I'm back and that I have a paycheck that he won't even care that I lost the job!!' Bakura walked up to the door and rang the bell. He looked down at himself and beamed. 'And with how crappy I look he'll be so pleased that I'm not hurt!!!' he had everything planned out.  
  
Then Ryou came to the door and opened it. He looked at Bakura surprised, "Oh my god what happened!?"  
  
"A little problem at work, but don't worry I'm alright." He made sure that he looked tired and stressed. Ryou started to usher Bakura in but he stopped himself.  
  
"Do you have a paycheck?" he asked sternly, or at least what passed as stern for him.  
  
Bakura pulled the envelope from his pocket and handed it to Ryou, Ryou glanced at the paycheck and smiled. "Welcome home." He moved from the door way and let Bakura in.  
  
"I'd hug you and all but I'm a little bit of a mess, I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be back to give you the hug." Bakura smiled at Ryou and then jogged upstairs. He had made it back in! He stripped down and shoved his uniform in the dirty hamper then he took a shower.  
  
When he got out and he felt a million times better, he was home, he was clean, he was away from those little animals from the party, and best of all he wasn't living in close vicinity with Yami! He went to the room that he shared with Ryou and got dressed, he was so happy to be able to get dressed with clothes that came from a dresser and not a plastic bag! Everything was going to be just as it had been before!  
  
He went downstairs and found Ryou sitting in the kitchen, there was a plate of food in front of the seat that Bakura usually sat in, Bakura smiled, everything was perfect again.  
  
"So what time do you go to work tomorrow?" Ryou asked as Bakura sat down and started gobbling up his food.  
  
"I don't." Bakura answered over a mouth of chicken and rice.  
  
Ryou thought he had heard 'I don't' but he wasn't sure, and he was hoping that he hadn't heard that. "What?"  
  
"I don't have to go to work tomorrow." Bakura kept shoveling food down. But then Ryou grabbed the plate away from Bakura. "HEY!" Bakura protested.  
  
"What do you mean you don't have to go to work tomorrow!?! You DO understand that a job is for longer than a WEEK, right!?!"  
  
"Yeah, sure. I know." Bakura reached for the plate that Ryou still held away from him. Ryou backed away from the table and Bakura.  
  
"So then why aren't you going to work tomorrow?" Ryou's voice was menacing, Bakura thought for a second that he could lie to Ryou but after seeing that look he rethought that plan.  
  
"I was fired today." Bakura looked at Ryou and expected Ryou to reassure him and tell him that he could stay and look for another job.  
  
Wrong idea, completely. "Get out." Ryou looked at Bakura, his eyes seemed to be piercing Bakura's middle. Bakura lost his appetite.  
  
"Why? I brought home a paycheck, didn't I? That's what you wanted!" Bakura was getting annoyed that Ryou was being so unreasonable.  
  
"GET OUT!!! Before I throw this plate at you!!"  
  
"WHAT!?! THIS IS BULL-!" Bakura stopped and ducked as a plate flew past where his head had been a moment before.  
  
"I SAID GET OUT!!!!" Ryou grabbed another plate and a cup and looked at Bakura, rage building up in him. Bakura stared at Ryou, this wasn't the man he had fallen in love with. This was a psychopath!!  
  
"Ryou calm do-!" the plate flew past his head, Bakura took the hint and hightailed it out of the house, though Ryou was still throwing things in his direction.  
  
Yugi was curled up on the couch, his head in Yami's lap, watching TV. "It's getting late. Bakura still hasn't shown up. Think we should maybe call Ryou, see if he went over there?"  
  
"I guess we could, but I don't think Bakura would be that stupid." Yami changed the channel. "What do you want to watch?"  
  
"I WAS watching that other show." Yugi poked Yami in the side. "I don't get why you just can't stay on ONE channel!" Yugi poked him a few more times.  
  
Yami laughed and started tickling Yugi. "Because it gets boring!" he laughed as Yugi tickled his side.  
  
They were laughing so loud that they almost didn't hear the doorbell.  
  
"Damnit! That's our house guest." Yami said and wrapped his arms around Yugi's waist.  
  
"Oh c'mon Yami, we can't just leave him out there!" Yugi said and then saw the look on Yami's face and saw Yami opening his mouth to reply. "No." Yami made a face and closed his mouth and loosened his grip on Yugi. "Yami stop bein a brat."  
  
Yami screwed up his face indignantly and let Yugi go, "I'm not a brat." He said that in a childish pouting voice.  
  
Yugi opened the door, "Hey, Bakura, we were getting worried about you-!"  
  
"Nuh-huh, YOU were the one who was-!" Yami said as he poked his head into the hallway from the living room.  
  
They both stopped and looked at Bakura who was standing on their doorstep, looking disheveled. He looked pretty bad, he just walked past the other two men and went to his room. Yami and Yugi were too shocked to say anything to him.  
  
A few minutes later Yugi went up to talk to Bakura. He knocked on the guest room door. "Bakura?"  
  
There was no answer. Yugi pushed the door open and looked in and saw Bakura sitting on the windowsill looked out into the distance, in the direction of his home. "I don't understand what he wants from me." Bakura whispered and Yugi couldn't tell whether he was thinking out loud or talking to Yugi. "I got a job, got a paycheck. But I can't go home."  
  
Yugi walked to Bakura's side. "You went to go see him?"  
  
"Yes. I gave him my paycheck."  
  
Yugi was confused. "It wasn't enough?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't understand all of this. I robbed for my last 'job' I didn't answer to anyone. I totally confused by all of this."  
  
Yugi felt bad for Bakura and he put his hand on Bakura's shoulder. "Did Ryou tell you what was wrong when he told you to leave?"  
  
"I think it had something to do with my losing my job." Then Bakura yelped as he was smacked across the back of his head.  
  
"YOU LOST YOUR JOB!" Yugi looked at Bakura, furious.  
  
"WHAT!?!? I told you I'm new at this!!" Bakura shouted back. He was holding his hurt cheek.  
  
"Bakura you are such a load of bullcrap!!!" Yugi yelled and then walked out and slammed the door behind him.  
  
Bakura sat up the whole night trying to think of what to do, he had to get a new job and fast. He wanted to get back home.  
  
The next morning he was walking around, trying to figure out where he should go to try to get a job. 'I have to find a good job and fast! Yugi seemed really angry with me this morning.'  
  
Yugi's annoyed face, when Bakura had asked if he had the latest newspaper, flashed in Bakura's mind. He was thinking so hard about what to do for a job that he didn't see what was in front of him. He walked right into a wooden doghouse, lost his balance, tried to catch himself, grabbed onto a piece of paper on the nearby door. He ripped the paper off when he fell, right on his butt.  
  
"Shit!" He exclaimed as he rubbed his butt. Then he noticed the paper in his hand. 'Help Wanted' jumped out at him. He read on.  
  
He looked up at the sign above the entrance. Puppy City. He stood up and brushed himself.  
  
-twenty minutes later-  
  
"Welcome to the Puppy City staff!! You're the new Animal Cleansing Technician." A smiling man said as he clapped his hand on Bakura's shoulder.  
  
A smaller woman handed Bakura an apron and grinned evilly, "Yeah, congrats, you wash dogs."  
  
[~][~]  
  
Next Chapter: Man's Best Friend, Bakura's Worst Enemy  
  
[^][^]  
  
Yugi: -sitting with Phoenix and Ryou- Matthew was the best decision Yami and I ever made. -reaches over and touches the baby's nose, the baby is still in Phoenix's arms-  
  
Ryou: -melts as the baby gurgles and coos- Yami was all for the idea?  
  
Yugi: Well.not at first, he didn't want to have to worry about a child in the house and all. But then I told him that raising a child isn't just a job it's a joy and that he couldn't just see the hard work that comes from raising a child. He still wasn't all that into the idea, but then I explained that if we adopted an orphan we were giving a happy home to a child who might not have one otherwise.  
  
Phoenix: -listens-  
  
Ryou: -looks at Matthew happily playing with Yugi's finger- So.Matthew was an orphan.  
  
Yugi: -smiles- Yes, once Yami realized that adopting a child like Matthew was such a good thing to do he agreed.  
  
Bakura: -looks at Yami- -thinks 'Wow, I never realized.Yami is so nice.'-  
  
Yami: -shoots a look back- What the hell do you want, Pokki!  
  
Bakura: To kick your ass from here to the next universe over! But since that ain't happenin I'll just have to dream!  
  
Yami: -makes a weird face- Dude, keep me the HELL out of your fantasies!  
  
Bakura: You WISH I fantasized about you!!!  
  
Ryou: Yugi, would you mind if I held Matthew? -completely ignoring Yami and Bakura yelling on the end of the room-  
  
Yugi: -beams- Of course!  
  
Phoenix: -smiles and carefully hands Matthew over to Ryou as Yugi carefully shows him how to properly hold a baby-  
  
Ryou: -nervously holds the tiny child in his arms- Oh he's so precious. I can't believe that we used to be like this a long time ago.  
  
Phoenix: -laughs- Yeah you guys but those two were spawned. -stabs her thumb in the direction of Bakura and Yami-  
  
Bakura and Yami: HEY!! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SPAWNED!!!!  
  
Matthew: -starts crying, startled by the yelling-  
  
Yugi: -whips his head around, the evil power of a parent filling his aura and the air- LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!  
  
Bakura and Yami: -if they were dogs there tails would be between their legs- Sorry.  
  
[=][=]  
  
Ok so you all officially want to kill me I KNOW!! I want to kill me too for being so late with these things but I have some good excuses!  
  
I was sick for a long time! Did you know a cold can last for like three weeks?! Yeah I didn't but I found out the hard way, I don't know how long it was but it felt like a freakin eternity.  
  
Family Emergencies! I finally got to meet my nieces!!!! Two of my uncles weren't feelin too hot, one has gotten better but the other is seriously ill. Some of my in-laws had to move ;_; -WAAAA!!!!!!  
  
And then there was my website! I was working a lil too hard on that. Ok and by too hard I mean: For the ten to twenty minute intervals that I was conscious I was fixing it up. Most of my days while I was sick was me sleeping or almost asleep  
  
Anyhow! I am back!! And I hope to do a MUCH better job than I have been!  
  
Gomenasai,  
  
Phoenix 


	6. Man's Best Friend, Bakura's Worst Enemy

Bakura stood soaked completely, his shirt ripped as well as his pants, with blood slowly trickling out of his nose, despite the tissues stuffed up his nostrils. There were bandages on his arms and he was sore in places that he didn't even realize were at all involved in the washing of a dog. He looked at the dog in front of him, sitting calmly licking his left paw, lying at his master's feet. He was the exact opposite of Bakura. The dog seemed at peace; all clean and happy...that wasn't the dog Bakura had bathed.  
  
It had been seven in the morning on the fourth day that Bakura had worked at Puppy City and Bakura had woken up extra early and gotten out of the house before Yami and Yugi. He had made sure to dress comfortably, as he had been told to do on his first day by his new manager who seemed to be more human than his last manager. He had run out of the house and made sure that he was there nice and early at seven.  
  
And as much as this would sound like he had finally developed some good work ethic it was really that his new coworker Jasmine had said that if he was early there would be a better chance that he wouldn't have to bathe Puppy, a notoriously insane and difficult dog to deal with.  
  
Let's get this straight, because names can be deceiving. Like a big burly man nicknamed Tiny, or a whips and chains leather clad dominatrix named Honey, Puppy was NOT like his name. He was an old dog, almost so much so that he didn't seem to even remember what being a cute sweet puppy was like. He was also NOT small; when he sat his head was usually at an average man's waist. And unlike puppies he was not innocent, he had a way of grinning after he snapped at you that let you know that he had only missed because it was an accident and that next time he wouldn't be as careless. So 'Puppy' was not the correct label for the ill tempered beast.  
  
But all was well in the land of Puppy City, there were two Labrador pups that were feisty but calmed down when Jasmine started singing to them. Bakura marveled at that, he couldn't believe how the pups calmed down and stopped thrashing about so quickly. They were followed by a cat which Bakura wasn't allowed to bathe, and Bakura was confused about that until he saw the other employees suiting up.  
  
"Um what's with the battle gear, I thought you were bathing a CAT not fighting a DRAGON?" Bakura joked.  
  
An employee, the same one who had 'greeted' him the first day he had walked in, looked at him sourly and replied, "There is no difference." That was after she had put on a ton of armor and before she walked into the room with all of the bathing equipment.  
  
There were some other animals but Bakura only washed the pups and a few other small animals, and some calm dogs. Then, at twelve, he and Jasmine walked into the building after their lunch break they heard a voice that made them both seize up, but for different reasons. Bakura froze because it was a shrill and very harsh voice that peaked at words like 'MY PRECIOUS POOCHIE!' and 'DO TAKE CARE OF HIM!'  
  
Jasmine's blood ran cold in her veins because this voice had come to be associated with a terror of an animal. She wanted to run but she couldn't because just as the thought crossed her mind the manager looked toward the door where she and Bakura still stood, completely still.  
  
"Thank you, ma'am, we will take the BEST care of your Precious as possible." The manager said and smiled good-naturedly. There was something 'off' in his smile that Bakura noted.  
  
"OH I TRUST YOU!!!" the woman said. She seemed to only have two levels of volume, loud, shrill, and harsh or LOUDER, SHRILLER, and HARSHER. She turned and Bakura actually physically flinched. Her make up was in hideous abundance, and what you could tell of her face, through the pounds of make up that was piled on it, it was just as hideous. "HELLO!! GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN JASMINE!!! AND YOU MUST BE NEW!!!" she looked at Bakura.  
  
The dog sat as any well trained dog would, close to his master, not barking or rooting around, just sitting and looking around calmly. Bakura smiled to himself, this meant that it would be an easy dog to bathe.  
  
"PUPPY SAY HELLO TO THE NEW MAN!!!" the woman touched the dog's nose and he barked. She smiled obviously very proud of her pet.  
  
Bakura just looked at the dog, 'This is 'Puppy'? That's the creature that everyone fears? HA! The only scary thing about him is his master and that's it.' He smiled.  
  
"Yes Bakura is new here, he of course will not be bathing Puppy, he doesn't understand how special he is, Bakura will have to watch for today and then on your next visit if he is good enough he will have a chance to help bathe Puppy." The manager was looking at Bakura as he said this and Bakura could sense something a bit 'off' again.  
  
"OH IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL BAKURA!! IT'S JUST THAT MY DEAR PUPPY IS JUST OH SO SPECIAL AND HE NEEDS SPECIAL ATTENTION!!" the dog smiled and licked the woman's hand contentedly.  
  
Bakura smiled sweetly, "Well we like to make sure that the best care is given and if that means that I will have to wait my turn to bathe Puppy then I will gladly wait it." his words and tone were silky smooth. He had excelled in this ability; if he had wanted to he could probably talk someone out of their own life.  
  
"OH I LIKE THIS ONE!! WHAT DO YOU THINK PUPPY!?!" she smiled and touched the dog's nose again and he barked again.  
  
Bakura smiled and thought of how stupid the employees had to be to be scared by such a content creature, just like the cat that had been bathed earlier.  
  
"PUPPY SEEMS TO LIKE YOU!!" The creature and the woman, smiled widely.  
  
Twenty minutes later one creature had left and the other had stayed, the one with the scheduled bathing stayed Puppy really wasn't a bad looking dog. He was tall, majestic, with a nice coat of fur and a pleasant demeanor. He lay on the floor, where he had been sat, waiting to be bathed.  
  
"Congratulations! You're so lucky that you got this job when Puppy was coming! Unfortunately I won't be able to give you any work for you to do while the others take care of Puppy, but I'm sure that Grace," the manager motioned to the small sour woman with the sharp tongue. "will be able to help you. I have to go run an errand and I'll be back in an hour or two." With that the manager walked out.  
  
Jasmine walked over to Bakura in a hurry, "Let me show you the store room, we can work there."  
  
"NUH HUH! Jasmine, the newbie has to deal with the torture as well." Grace smiled wickedly.  
  
Bakura grinned evilly, "Sure I'll wash Puppy, since you all are so afraid of such a calm animal then I guess I have to be the one who does it!" he laughed tauntingly.  
  
"I'll help you." Jasmine started for the door to the first cleaning station but Bakura took her arm.  
  
"No I can do this by myself. Just give me the things I'll need."  
  
A few minutes later Bakura walked into the washing area and over to the dog sitting patiently waiting for his bath. Puppy's tail wagged and his eyes were happy. Bakura looked at him and thought of Mokuba's beloved yellow Labrador named Hikari, 'Some people have to find humans to give all of their love to. But I guess while their looking an animal isn't too bad, I mean look at how much that woman loves Puppy and how much Mokuba loves Hikari, and in turn all of the love they receive from their pets.'  
  
He set up all of the things for the bath as he had learned and then he went to get Puppy and lead him from the tub. As soon as the leash was unhooked from Puppy's collar the dog put his paws on Bakura's shoulders and looked at Bakura in a way that seriously didn't make him comfortable, something close to a look that he might have given Ryou when he was hitting on him before they began their relationship. Then a big pink tongue flopped out of Puppy's mouth and bathed Bakura's face. Slobber ran down his face and he cringed shocked. "Down Puppy!" the dog stopped licking Bakura, but he didn't get back down on all fours.  
  
Instead he started to try to dry hump Bakura, which disturbed Bakura even more than the look the dog had given to a few seconds earlier. Bakura cried out in horror and disgust. "GET OFF OF ME!!!!"  
  
The dog went back down on all fours but there was an eerie smile on the creature's lips. He sat and looked at Bakura who was looking at the dog and thinking about breaking its legs. He bent down carefully and took the leash, keeping his eyes on the dog. "C'mon we better get this over with." He said as he led the dog to the tub.  
  
But a step away from the tub Puppy quickly ran around Bakura. "HEY!! WHOA!!!" the dog ignored Bakura's yelling as he ran out of the bathing room and down the hallway, dragging Bakura behind him. Bakura screamed and cursed. And at the end of the hall the dog finally stopped and sat quietly and patiently until Bakura was able to untangle himself. At which point he stood up and trotted back to the bathing room, pushed the swinging door open and calmly sat waiting for his bath.  
  
Bakura just watched the dog leave; he stood up and took a long calming breath. He had to be good...even if the dog deserved to have his legs ripped off and beaten to death with them!! He followed the dog back into the room and then he looked at the creature.  
  
"Look can you please just behave? I'm not asking for much I just want you to sit and be a good dog." The dog just sat quietly and Bakura took this as a good sign to continue...but as soon as he got close enough Puppy pounced on him and then proceeded to rip his pant leg up.  
  
Lucky for Bakura he was strong, or else he wouldn't have been able to get the evil behemoth off of himself. After much shoving, pushing, yelling, cursing, and other such fighting, he was finally able to get the huge hairy mass off. "OK, I get it, you hate me. Well little thing I need to let you in on, I'M NOT TOO FOND OF YOU EITHER!!!!"  
  
Puppy snarled and growled at Bakura. Bakura ignored it and grabbed the leash, expecting Puppy to try the same trick again he made sure that he was aware of Puppy's movement if he started to circle him, he made sure he watched the dog's every step. Only problem with this genius plan was the fact that Puppy wasn't going to wrap him up and drag him down the hall.  
  
Instead he dashed off out of the other swinging door which led to the kennels. Bakura was carried through dazed and angry. They stopped just outside the swinging door when Bakura yanked on the leash quickly and harshly. "HA!" But his victory was short lived as the door came back. WHACK!! Right in the back of the head!!!  
  
Bakura yelped in pain, dropping Puppy's leash as he grabbed his head. His mind wandered to whether his head was really hurt but was brought flying back as small daggers sank into the flesh of his lower leg. He looked down, shocked, and saw a green eyed tabby grinning up at him viciously. Bakura stared for a moment more and then screamed in utter and total horrible pain. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
  
Pain shot up into his head from his leg and he tried to shake the cat off but it wouldn't budge, he hopped around on one foot, trying unsuccessfully to kick the evil thing off of him. He bumped into a cage and didn't realize that the cage door was open until a small jaw sunk into his shoulder with claws to accompany them.  
  
Bakura screamed and tried to grab the creature. He began getting desperate and trying to knock the cat on his back against a wall to get it off. Some how or another, by whatever daemonic powers it had, it dodged every hit, and the cat on his leg that he was trying to knock off kept moving which caused Bakura to keep hitting his own leg!  
  
Then the real insult came when Puppy, who had been calmly sitting watching, waited and when Bakura wasn't facing him, he sunk his teeth into Bakura ass.  
  
At first there was absolute stillness, nothing moved. Bakura's breath caught in his lungs and his attempts to rid himself of the furry little minions of Satan ceased. Then there came a scream that must have been heard around the world. And the amount of profanity he spat out was incredible, I don't think there has EVER been a person who had cursed that much in one breath.  
  
Bakura ripped the cat on his back off and threw it into a cage, it made a sickening sound as it hit the metal back of the kennel. He slammed the cage door shut and then grabbed the other cat that was trying the run off by its tail and threw it into the nearest empty cage. He turned and looked at the dog that had thankfully let go of his butt. "Dog I am going to DROWN you!!!!!!" he screamed and Puppy just smiled, turned tail and walked into the bathing room.  
  
There was the insane urge to actually go through with what he had threatened as the dog sat in the bath and cheerfully let Bakura bathe him. Bakura grumbled and the dog simply smiled and moved for Bakura.  
  
Then it came time to dry Puppy. Bakura went to grab a towel but when he turned back around Puppy shook out all of the water on him. Bakura yelled and tried to put the towel up but the dog jumped on him and started rubbing all over him. Bakura tried to fend him off but Puppy grabbed his arm in his jaw and bit down, not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to leave a nasty bruise. Bakura tried to knee the dog and get him to let of his arm.  
  
The dog leapt off and ran out of the bathing room. Bakura jumped up and ran to catch up but jut as he ran to the door the door came back with deadly forced. Puppy had jumped up at the right moment and shoved it back at Bakura, with the speed and weight behind it the door it smacked him right in the nose, and Bakura swore he felt and heard something crack.  
  
The force knocked Bakura back and he slipped on the wet floor and fell back into the tub, into the water which hadn't drained out yet.  
  
So that's how it had happened. Jasmine had found Bakura knocked out in the tub, after hitting his head on the edge. And she was helping him clean himself up when Puppy's owner came to pick him up.  
  
"OH PUPPY YOU'RE SOOOO CLEAN!!! I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT BUT YOU DID AN EXCELLENT JOB!!!" the woman beamed and Puppy sat up and smiled.  
  
Bakura stayed quiet, that dog had tried to kill him. It was official he hated animals!  
  
He turned and walked back down the hall to the back, hoping that the woman wouldn't see him and ask what the hell had happened, because he knew he'd HAVE to tell her dog was Satan himself. But as he did so his mind went back to when he had thought about this woman and her relationship compared to Mokuba's with Hikari. His nose wrinkled up and he stopped walking, "Wait I hate dogs!!...so why'd I take this job!?!"  
  
"What the hell happened to you, Bakura?" The manager asked as he tried to keep from doubling over laughing.  
  
Bakura looked at him and was about to answer when the look that the manager had given the woman finally clicked in his head. "You know...you knew!!!!!! You knew this would happen!!!!!!!" he roared as he noticed that the smile had been the same as the one he used when he lied but wanted the person all good and buttered up.  
  
The manager erupted into a fit of laughter. Bakura clenched his fist and was about to deck the guy when his good sense came to him. "This is the day I get paid, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah (gasp laugh)"  
  
"Good, can I get my paycheck now, then?"  
  
"(Laugh laugh) Sure!" the manager reached into his pocket and handed the check to Bakura. "C'mon dude it was pretty funny, you have to admit that."  
  
"Yeah it was actually!" Bakura smiled and waited for the check to be in his hand so he could be on his way.  
  
"See, no harm no foul!" the manager laughed and finally straightened himself enough to hand the check over.  
  
The paper touched Bakura's palm and it triggered the other hand which had been lying in wait. Up it came and across it went, and DOWN went the manager. "Blow it out your ass shithead, may Puppy rip your fucking balls off asshole!"  
  
Bakura grabbed his jacket and stormed out, leaving his former manager in a crumpled heap.  
  
End- Second place of employment [~][~]  
  
Next Time: Cleanin the Battle Wounds  
  
A/N: there is an actual place called Puppy City, I don't own it in any way shape or form, I don't even know the people that work there! ^_^  
  
[^][^]  
  
Bakura: -sits watching Yugi and Yami trying to calm the small child, he didn't understand all about taking care of children. He'd never understood why anyone would EVER want to have children...but they did....and now Ryou wanted one.-  
  
Yami: -sighs as Matthew finally settles down and quiets down-  
  
Yugi: -smiles and carefully puts him back in his carrier to sleep-  
  
Ryou: How about we go in to the kitchen to talk, I wanted to ask you about adoption?  
  
Phoenix: -nods and stands up-  
  
All of them went into the kitchen, apparently forgetting about Bakura, who had been unusually quiet.  
  
Bakura: -watched them all leave. Then he walked to the carrier, sitting on the floor, he knelt down and looked at the little child lying looking around sleepily.- Hello?  
  
The little boy turned to look at the source of the sound.  
  
Bakura: -looked at him and couldn't help himself, he reached out and touched the soft fabric of the babe's clothes-  
  
Happy to be touched and to have someone to play with the baby cooed and moved.  
  
Bakura: -smiled warmly. He reached up and touched the babe's cheek and recoiled a centimeter. He had never touched a child's skin, it was so soft and smooth and just totally unlike the harshness of the other things he was used to touching.- You're soft...and small...and new...and so easy to hurt...but you are just so perfect...so many possibilities...you may grow into a horrid person  
  
The baby's nose wrinkled softly and it made Bakura laugh softly.  
  
Bakura: But you may not...You can be a million different people  
  
The baby took his finger and nibbled on it gently.  
  
Bakura: -wrinkled his nose a bit and then laughed gently- I hope you don't turn out to be a cannibal kid. Though I do like your style, lull them into a false sense of security then start eating them.  
  
The little boy looked up at him puzzled and then giggled and kicked his feet happily.  
  
Bakura: Yea that cuteness thing is a good look for you.  
  
Just then the babe scratched his gum on and he stopped moving anthen cried out in pain.  
  
Bakura: -looked shocked- Oh no, c'mon please don't do this to me!  
  
Then Yami ran in, he saw Bakura sitting by Matthew and then he saw the red on his baby's bottom lip. He ran over to Matthew and looked at Bakura and saw the red on his finger.  
  
Yami: WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?! –he grabbed up Matthew- Yeah you SHOULDN'T have a child, you'd probably try to kill it!! –he stormed down the hallway to the kitchen to take care of the small child who was still crying-  
  
Bakura: -just sat stunned. He hadn't MEANT to hurt the child, he didn't even know how he had hurt him, he was just looking at him-  
  
He stood up and walked to the door, grabbing his jacket as he did, he figured he better get away from the baby before he hurt him again. Why was he a hazard?  
  
Bakura: Children are only trouble. –he said as he walked out- 


	7. Cleaning the Battle Wounds

1Cleaning The Battle Wounds

Angry as ever, Bakura found that on his way out, after grabbing his things while muttering angry curses on the manager and all of his family and friends, it was completely necessary to show a telephone pole who was 'boss.' He punched the pole and was rewarded with a nasty gash when one of his knuckles was cut by an old staple. He looked at the cut and instead of thinking about whether or not that was a particularly bright thing to do, or whether he might have tetanus now, he just popped his knuckle into his mouth and sucked on the wound.

'One more fucking job down the drain! This is bullshit!' He thought and raised his other fist to continue giving that pole the beating of its life, but just as he was about to connect, two hands wrapped around his upper arm struggled to hold it.

"Bakura!" a sweet voice filled his angry consciousness. "Bakura, please don't!"

He turned and saw Jasmine holding onto his arm for dear life, afraid if she let go he would smash his fist into the pole and hurt himself.

"Look I know what they did to you was wrong and I should have stopped them, I'm sorry. Just please don't hurt yourself, you're already hurt enough. Look I'll buy you a cup of coffee and we can clean you up ok?" she was desperate, and feeling very guilty.

Bakura thought about shaking her loose and just hitting the damn pole but something in the way that she was looking at him made him stop. "You really going to buy that coffee?" he took his fist out of his mouth and gave a crooked smile.

Jasmine sighed relieved. "Yeah. C'mon."

They walked down the street and found a really nice café that Bakura, oddly, felt he knew for some reason. But he was sure he didn't know it since he usually avoided places like it. Upon walking in, the smell of coffee and pastries hit them but then a few heads turned. Being dirty and bleeding all over the place kind of made Bakura feel self conscious but he got over that fast when his anger started back up. "Ignore them, let's just get a table." Jasmine smiled at the man next to her as if to tell those watching them that this was someone she cared for and she didn't care what _anyone_ thought!

Struck dumb, this being a very unnatural thing for Bakura, he simply nodded.

They found a nice table in the corner by the other front exit and sat down. It was a table that put them right by the large storefront windows, giving Bakura the ability to scowl at everyone out side. He hated them, _them_ just being everyone. He hate that they had a happy job, and nice home, the two things he didn't have. They didn't have to slave away at crappy jobs just to get by. They were happy and he wasn't, and he hated them for it.

Jasmine sat across from him, silent, letting him think because she always believed that people needed to think things through after they have a huge fight. She happened to look down as she went to grab another packet of sugar and saw that Bakura's knuckle had started to bleed more. "Oh my gosh!" she grabbed his hand and started dabbing the wound with a napkin. "We have to get you checked out!"

Bakura winced and looked at Jasmine and then at his hand, "Oh that's nothing." He winced again which took away some of his credibility.

"It's not just this! You're a mess. We better take you to a doctor."

A feeling came in and touched Bakura slightly, like the edge of the tide on a beach. He wrapped his other hand around her hands and held them and smiled. "You know you're the sweetest, I'll be fine, really."

There was the sound of a tray and glasses falling to the ground in the background but Bakura didn't turn. Jasmine wanted to stay like that but she pulled her eyes away and blushed. "Oh, uh well I worry, that's all."

"I know but the fact that you actually worry about ME is what's so amazing."

"You're not so bad, I mean it's not hard to worry about you- not to say that there is anything that's wrong with you!" Jasmine pulled her hands from Bakura's. "How about you come to my place and I'll patch you up, seeing as how this is my fault."

"Oh no, it's ok, I'll be fine!" Bakura smiled but then Jasmine touched his nose to make a point and he winced, his eyes watered in pain. "Maybe a Tylenol wouldn't hurt too much."

Jasmine smiled and grabbed their cups, "Fine, then it's settled!"

Out into the late afternoon they went, the sun was getting ready to set and so there was a pleasant pinkish orange tone to everything. Jasmine lived a block away from the café, in a beautiful apartment. She told Bakura that she had a first aid kit and knew a bit about patching people up after fights with Puppy. Bakura laughed at the joke and followed her.

"Well make yourself at home, I have to find the kit, I'll be right back!" Jasmine left Bakura in the kitchen.

Curious he started to look around, when he looked at the top of the refrigerator he was shocked. "WOW!"

"What?"

"I would have never pegged you as a drinker!" Bakura marveled at the amount of liquor she had.

"If you want you can have some of it." Jasmine walked back into the kitchen. Bakura smiled, a wide smile. "I'll get you a glass, just go sit in living room. Oh wait if you drink you can't have the Tylenol."

Bakura shrugged, "I'll take the alcohol." he smiled as he walked into the living room.

Jasmine came in a few seconds later with a small amount of Jack Daniel's in a glass and the bottle, in case he wanted a refill. She handed him the glass and then started to open the kit, but when she turned around with the gauze she saw that he had already finished the first serving and was liberally serving himself. Her jaw fell.

"Ok, I guess you're taking a cab home then." Jasmine shook her head.

There was a pause that extended for a few minutes as Jasmine picked all the things she would need out of the kit. Bakura's eyes started to get a far off look and he didn't seem as sharp as he was before.

"Nope." Bakura just ignored the glass and started drinking from the bottle.

"'Nope'?" Jasmine asked as she picked up some Neosporin and rolled up the sleeve on Bakura's arm, the one that wasn't holding the Jack, Jasmine had the feeling she'd be prying the bottle out of his hand before long.

"I'm not taking a cab home."

"Well you're not driving and I'd hate for something to happen while you're taking the bus home."

"No, that's not it," there was a pause. "I don't have a home to go to." Bakura took a swig from the bottle. He swallowed and turned his head to look away from her, "You're lucky."

Jasmine didn't believe what she was hearing. "I think you've had enough." but as she moved to take the bottle she saw the look on Bakura's face. The look was so pained that she just froze, utter anguish had washed over his face. But as something very small glinted on his face she realized something even more disconcerting.

He was crying.

"I wish I had my home still, you know what its like to have a place to call home, where things are yours and everything's the way that YOU like it. I miss that, I hate being pushed around and ordered and- I hate my life." Bakura started towards the window and opened it. Jasmine jumped up thinking he was going to try to throw himself out of it.

"Bakura, this isn't- !"

"You have a lovely view." Everyone knows that the particular poison that Bakura had decided to ingest is particularly strong and the amount that he had already consumed was somewhere near lethal. That said, by this point Bakura was very intoxicated and quickly becoming more and more plastered. "Such a beautiful sunset." More tears rolled down his cheeks. "My home had a window that had a view like this."

Jasmine gently tried to pull Bakura off of the windowsill which he had decided to sit on. "Well wouldn't you rather look at it from a chair while I patch you up?" she spoke as gently as possible. "I'll have you all set to go home in- ."

Bakura just shook his head. "I have no place to go to." he turned to look at her. "I was kicked out of my home…and you know your eyes reflect the sunset in the most beautiful way." He touched her cheek and gave her a drunken smile, but one of those smiles that sometimes can be confused as genuine. Jasmine was about to blush and just coax him off of the windowsill but suddenly his lips were on hers.

Now any sensible woman would have pulled her face away and politely explained to him that she had to help him. They would pry the alcohol out of his hand and make him sit down and make sure he was taken care of before she sent him to his proper home. The thing is that sometimes in life we decide that being that proper person, that sensible person, isn't right. Well more like you just don't count that person's vote.

Bakura's other hand, somehow unknown to mankind, put down the bottle without spilling it. Then that arm wrapped around Jasmine's waist. All that filled his mind was just how soft her lips were and how he wanted to take her into himself. He loved the way she felt pressed up against him, the way she tasted and mostly the way her shy hands moved on him.

So as the sun fell, closing the curtain on another day, there was a new beginning of something unknown that rose to reality as the moon took its relative's place.

Next Time: The Game is Called Telephone

As the message goes around and people get worked up the truth stays hidden.

It's been a billion years since I have updated which is because of many many reasons, including the sad passing of my first laptop Chii, the lack of internet and then there was the switching over to the new internet. When my laptop died there were no files backed up so everything I had written was taken with it. I have a new laptop now, I'm still looking for a name for it but I have it, -squee-! So I've been trying to rewrite the chapters that were supposed to be put up so with any luck I'll be caught up and then some. I hope you like the new stuff. )

I'm not sure if having the story I used to have here would have this story banned, if you know anything please share, because I remember reading that the format I used for the story thing was banned.


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